Besides Death, The Tower may be the most misunderstood card in the tarot deck. Many people fear The Tower, and this is understandable because it is one of the most powerful and formidable cards in the tarot deck, and its effects can be earthshattering. However, I have learned that – contrary to the beliefs of many readers – The Tower does not always portend doom. The Tower, much like the Ace of Wands, brings clarity.
In this article – and also another, which I’ll call ‘part two’ of this entry – I will explain how The Tower does this by sharing with you some very illuminating readings I recently did for a client about his potential love interest. But before you read on, I recommend that you take the time to peruse my article about the ethics of tarot reading. This might help you understand why I am comfortable doing the kinds of card readings I’m going to tall you about here.
The Tower as Empowering Revelation
The Tower is about the shattering of illusions. Often, these illusions take the form of the little-white-lies we tell ourselves to keep our heads above water emotionally, or those we tell others to maintain stable relationships. In the unflinching spirit of this project, I’m going to use a couple of examples that hit close to home. A woman might tell herself that no one noticed her copious cellulite at the beach (the lie she needs to believe ), while reassuring her boyfriend that his penis isn’t too small, she doesn’t care anyway and, her ex wasn’t equipped like a horse (the lies he needs to believe). When The Tower shows up, it is very often means that hard, inflexible truth is about to shatter these comforting lies and bring painful realities into stark focus.
Negative Self-Talk as a Comforting Lie
However, with that in mind, the lies The Tower shatters are not always the kind of lies we use to mislead ourselves into thinking we’re taller, smarter, funnier or sexier than we really are. Sometimes, the untruths that get shattered relate to the kind of negative self-talk some people engage in to avoid disappointment, excuse inaction or protect themselves from heartbreak.
Here’s an example of exactly that kind of lie. Imagine a lonely, single man who is 5’8″ tall might tell himself that he’ll never have a girlfriend because he’s ‘too short,’ so he doesn’t even try to approach women. He’s not wrong that, as a rule, women tend to prefer taller men and he’s wise to keep his expectations in check by admitting to the appreciable disadvantage he faces in the modern sexual marketplace. That’s not a lie. The lie is his belief that his shorter-than-average height is a total deal breaker with every woman.
Smashing the Comforting Lie
Now, here comes the important part. The lie that he has ‘no chance’ comforts him because it excuses him from engaging in the long and difficult process of addressing other weaknesses that might be holding him back (including his fear of rejection). In this case, The Tower might foretell events that will shatter his comforting illusion and leave him exposed to the reality that he has more agency (and therefore more responsibility) than he believed.
While this sounds like a welcome development (and it is), it can stir up a lot of pain because it robs him of the excuse he’s used – possibly for years – to protect himself from the sting of rejection, and the very real possibility of having his heart broken. With that illusion shattered, it forces him to take at least some responsibility for where he is now. Worse, it shows him that there might be a path to where he wants to be… but only if he’s brave enough to climb mountains of rejection.
The Tower as a Welcome Truth
Recently, across many spreads and several clients, I have seen The Tower show up in exactly this way. In each case, all relating to love relationships, the context was such that The Tower came in direct opposition to what was expected. If I didn’t know the context, my interpretation would have been that “a painful and unpleasant truth is coming.” In one very interesting case (shared below), it seemed as if my male client was going to be told by his female love interest that she wasn’t interested in him. He was going to get the ‘just friends’ spiel and that would be the end.
But, the events which set the context of this reading – in particular her behavior toward him (as evidenced in text messages that I personally read) – suggested that her feelings for him were at least as strong as his feelings for her. Let me share with you the context, the question I asked the cards, the spread I used, and the ‘surprise’ appearance of The Tower.
The Context
This woman was recently divorced and appeared to be somewhat ambivalent about the burgeoning relationship with my client. But her behavior suggests she was not indifferent. She would sit on his texts for days before she responded. Then, when she finally did respond (which she always eventually did, without him having to double-text her), if he didn’t reply within a day, she’d text him again, this time with some silly excuse to get him to contact her. Then he’d reply and she’d ignore him for days once again, then text him, then double-text if he didn’t reply in a day. Sometimes, she’d text him unsolicited with some kind of silly joke, or a screenshot of something he posted on Instagram.
This does not sound like healthy texting behavior for a woman in the ‘talking stage’ of a new relationship. However, while her long delays might have been an attempt to appear indifferent, hers is absolutely not the behavior of a woman who resolutely wants a man to leave her alone. On the other hand, what was the point of continuing to play the game if everything kept looping back to a tedious, never-ending game of push-pull? The answer became clear in a spread in which The Tower played a central role.
The Question
As the saying goes, if you want the right answer, you have to ask the right question. It turns out that the question I put to the cards was exactly the right one.
Question: Why does the universe want my client to keep playing the game with Lady X?
The spread I used was a Kachina Knife, and the answer could not be clearer.
Querent Card: The Tower.
Situation: The Sun
Past: Four of Cups
Present: Ace of Swords
Future: The World
Clarifier 1: Five of Swords
Clarifier 2: Knight of Swords
Interpretation
When the querent card comes down as The Tower, there can be no doubt that a truth bomb is on the way. Based on the other cards in this spread, that truth bomb was not going to be a firecracker. It was going to be a bunker-buster, the Mother of All Bombs. The only question that remained was, would this be a welcome truth, or one that was devastating to the psyche? And the answer was… both.
The second card in the spread, which represented the ‘situation,’ was The Sun. The Sun speaks of illumination, and something that becomes revealed, a truth that comes to light. So, just like The Tower, it is a card of truth. It is generally thought of as a very happy card. But how is it that the situation card could be so positive when the querent card was The Tower, the most imposing, most feared card in the deck? We’ll soon see. It’s important that The Sun card presents the image of a baby riding in on a horse. Keep that in mind.
The card that reveals the past was the Four of Cups, the card of indifference, or ‘failure to see the forest for the trees.’ But in this case, I read it as meaning feigned indifference. Lady X wasn’t indifferent to my friend. She was just pretending to be.
The card for the future was The World. The World speaks of cycles coming to and end and others beginning. Unlike the Death card, which speaks more of rebirth than death, this card speaks of resolution, possibly closure. It is the last of the major arcana in the deck, which itself suggests the idea of a ‘final chapter.’ To be honest, this wasn’t looking good for the idea of him having a relationship with this woman. Combined with The Tower, it looked like a hard truth was about to drop, and he wasn’t going to like it.
When the querent card comes down as The Tower, there can be no doubt that a truth bomb is on the way.
But what did the Ace of Swords for the present mean? It is a card of clarity and cutting through falsehoods and deceptions. It is also a very positive card and one that suggests a powerful vicory was at hand. This card is particularly powerful in this spread because it completes the trifecta, with all the most powerful ‘truth’ cards in one row.
The only cards left were the two clarifiers, which were both swords. The Five of Swords is generally a very negative card which conveys the idea of loss, dejection, or a zero-sum game in which there can only be one winner. Coming in a position right under The Tower suggests that The Tower is likely to take on its classically negative meaning and that a difficult truth is going to land hard. The Knight of Swords, which pictures a hard-charging knight with sword drawn, can have different meanings. As an advice card, it can tell you to blast ahead, putting all your resources into one pursuit. It can also warn against being rash or acting without thought. Either way, it tends to be a card whose energy plays out forcefully and quickly, and beside The World and right under The Sun, it suggests that whatever is going to happen is going to happen fast and soon.
Outcome
All these fast-energy cards weren’t lying. Within to months of this reading, everything had melted down and my friend had parted ways with the woman of his interest forever. To this day, they have not spoken.
But did she dump him? No. Did she give him the ‘let’s just be friends’ speech? Not at all. So why did they part?
Basically, she wanted a baby – soon – and he wasn’t ready to be a father. This woman was 33 going on 34 and, having recently exited a deeply problematic marriage that did not produce children, she was looking to get pregnant before her baby clock ran out. And she wanted to get pregnant with him.
That explains The Sun card (the card with the image of a baby on it). Remember, the sun is about truth revealed, and her true motives did come to light. More importantly, it explains The Tower (and the Five of Swords underneath it). His core illusion crumbled to the ground, and that illusion was the belief that he wasn’t good enough for her and that she didn’t have strong feelings for him. The revealed truth was not that she was indifferent. The truth was that she found him very attractive, so much so that she wanted to have his child.
An Ego Trip and a Broken Heart
I’m very pleased (but not surprised) that my reading was dead on. As predicted, he didn’t get what he wanted from this woman (The Tower and the Five of Swords), and their relationship came to a final end (The World). Also as predicted – the truth came. When the illusion was shattered, it left him not with diminished confidence (like a rejection might have), but with a renewed sense of self-worth. This confidence arose from the knowledge that the woman he desired admired him enough to want to have a baby with him. Yes, I undertand that it’s possible this was just a woman whose baby clock was runnin out and needed a ‘sperm donor’ pronto and at any cost, but that doesn’t invalidate the fact that she truly, deeply wanted to have a child with him. Though he (politely) told her ‘no way,’ he took the sincerity of her interest in him as a meaningful compliment, and so he should.
So, The Tower doesn’t only deliver the kind of truth that smashes the ego. Sometimes, even if it breaks the heart, it gives us a reason to feel a sense of pride and satisfaction. This wasn’t a case of my client simply being ‘rejectable. The woman he loved didn’t reject him. She told him that she loved him enough to to start a family with him. Yes, there were red flags flying all over the place and that’s why my client didn’t commit to her, which in my view was a good decision.
But the point of this article stands. Rather than invariably always telling us that we’re ‘less’ than we think, the revelation The Tower brings might be that we’re more than we know.
And that’s why The Tower and its shattering of illusions should be deeply respected, but never feared.